Hope

Family life has swelled to a wild degree with illness for my youngest child and timing it at Advent has left me feeling we have started the season without the usual traditions I love. Our Advent wreath is still buried in the basement and we are closer to lighting the second candle at Mass than I am to finding it at the moment.

Much to my delight, I am blessed to have God assist me in seeing the Hope of Advent in nontraditional ways this year. Technology has helped my prayer life and I have been enjoying praying novenas that arrive in my email box and I can read them on my phone while waiting for doctor appointments or in car line at school when I am early because the baby wouldn't nap unless I put him in the car! The third novena I am in the midst of is blowing me away. (It has also taken the stigma I had placed on 'old people pray novenas' in my head an placed that notion in the trash can I call "unhelpful thinking").

My home lacks the organization and pleasant comforts of nice order due to a kitchen re-model on hold and sickness that grounds me to the couch or car to go to appointments. Yet, my Hope is greater, stronger and more alive than I can express. God is in my Mess. God is working even in my chaos. My open heart has room for surprises and invitations that I might otherwise miss if I were focused on my temporal circumstances.

It is with such clarity that Mary saying YES to giving birth to Baby Jesus is the model for me when  I am confused and doubting. I have practiced saying "yes" to things that frighten me lately. I am so grateful for the the nudges of my friends and family in my life. What holds us back is not letting Hope in to our hearts. This tiny blog that maybe 4 people have read has given me freedom to be myself. It has given light to my writing that otherwise would only be seen by the fibers that hold the pages of my journal together.

If I were to do a soap opera-esque montage of all the Hope I have experienced and people I may or may not have listened to I would have an hour long special. Moments shared....faces of angelic souls who have brought me to this moment of joy I am feeling today would be seeing halos over their heads as I  thank them for the love and support present to me through friendship, family, faith, heartache, joy and wonder. With Gratitude I thank you my angel friends and loved ones for the Hope you have seen in me and shared to bring me happiness and light!

Lovingly, Colleen

Today is my Dad's birthday and I love to think of him in a joyful way on this date. My Mom said Yes to marrying him later in life just as Advent was about to begin in 1972.Their hope in starting a life together later in years allowed me to be here. I loved hearing stories of my parents lives before they married. Their unique story and the family members they admired were told to me so many times I formed a lot of my life on the legend of people I never met. My grandmother on my mother's side is probably the reason my Irish worry is noteworthy but she is the deepest part of why I look for the good in people. My mother's stories of how she believed in her talent as an artist more than anyone else, forgave everyone no matter the infraction, and offered peacefulness even if it resulted in her own discomfort were inspiring to me. My Grandmother molded in my mom a woman of positive energy and strength I admire endlessly. My Mom believed in me and my writing and supported me in my youthful and lonely efforts to force my high school to keep a dying newspaper and literary magazine alive.( I will have to blog about my Mom in a whole other   theme!) Everything is connected, everyone is connected, our hope flows forth and I celebrate the Hope of the life my Dad spread in his lifetime and lives on now. <3